Month Two for Drew!
Wednesday 6/3/09:
I tried the limited feedings yesterday like Dr. Pera said and Drew ate exactly every 2 hours, exactly. I fed him about 15-20 minutes each side and then made him stop. He seemed okay and the next time I fed him he did get down to business and eat not goof around. He even ate every 2 hours all night long. It was a long night. He ate for 30 to 40 minutes then it took about another 15 minutes to settle him down, then I laid him down and I would lay down for an hour and be back up to feed him again. When will his tummy get bigger? Before when I was letting him nurse longer I could sometimes get 3 maybe a little more hours out of a feeding. I sure hope the things Dr. Pera suggested works.
This morning I put Drew in his swing and went upstairs to wash up. He started crying but I couldn't come down stairs that exact moment, I was in the potty, so he had to just cry. I came downstairs as soon as possible but by then he had stopped crying and was almost asleep. Ahhh, my poor little guy feel asleep crying, I feel so bad. Mommy wasn't there to comfort him. It really brought a tear to my eye. I'm sure he's fine but it's the first time I didn't pick him up when he's started crying. Now he's napping in my lap, so I feel better :)
Friday 6/5/09:
Okay, so now I realize I was a few days off on the month switch over, I was still counting weeks, he was 4 weeks old on the 2nd, in my lack of sleep mind that meant a month. I've also noticed in my lack of sleep mind that I can't tell my left from my right. I will write down in Drew's feeding log which side he started eating on and know that I'm supposed to start on the other side. I'll think in my head, okay we're on left now and proceed to start him on the right. The sad thing is I don't realize right away, and people say pregnancy brain is bad; no sleep brain is worse!
This week has been really exciting, Andrew met his little friend Ethan who he will get to know real well. I'll be watching Ethan when the school year starts. The two little guys are going to have so much fun together, I'm sure I'll double my gray hairs but I'm looking forward to it. Then we went and met a 3 year old Andrew, baby Matthew and Audrey and 1 year old Ava. Andrew is so popular already. It's nice that I know moms our here already, at least I have people I can talk to and they understand what I'm going through, and it's also not weird to ask about poopy :) Ahhh the sophisticated conversations of a mom.
Andrew must have known he was turning into a big boy, last night he slept so well. He slept 3 hours, woke up and ate in under an hour, then slept 3 more hours, woke up and ate, then slept 2 more. I love this baby! Thank you gypsies for giving me my happy night time baby back! It's amazing the difference when you get some sleep. I was seriously getting 4 hours a day, and not all at once. I didn't know how much longer I could function, my body felt like it was shutting down. Please please please let him start sleeping like this at least a couple times a week!!!
I've decided that any woman who has an epidural should automatically get a bikini wax. I mean, you're already numb down there and afterward I seriously was afraid of that part of my body. It hurt, it had stitches in it, it was bleeding, I wasn't about to go near it, now I have the job of making myself look presentable for my follow up appointment.
Saturday 6/6/09:
Andrew already knows that he'll be going to college but how did he find out about frat boys? Dad wasn't one, I wasn't in a sorority. Last night he slept from 10pm to 2am, got up, ate, then partied all night until 5:30 when he drank until he passed out and slept until 10am. Who told him he could party all night? I know it was Friday night but we're a boring family, we don't party on Friday nights. Today he's been pretty good, I'm noticing a little more awake time. We even got out the ocean mat and played on that, he grabbed at one of the toys a couple times, he's becoming so alert. In his swing he notices the owls from time to time. It's so cute, he'll look up and watch them and go crossed eyed. Sometimes he even reaches his hand up. I tried to capture that on video but of course as soon as I turned the camera on he just sat there. Oh well, next time maybe he'll be more exciting.
Wednesday 6/10/09:
I took Andrew in for a weight check yesterday, he's 9 pounds 3 ounces. That's awesome! Now I don't have to go back for weight checks until his 8 week appointment! I can't believe how fast he gained weight, but I did the same thing when I was pregnant, I would go a month without gaining a pound then gain 7 in a week. I guess I know why now, it's was all Drew's fault :) Having his weight down when I took him for his 1 month appointment really made me feel bad, it was all me. If I was formula feeding, so I up the formula, but I'm not and I can't tell how much he's eating. I was really trying to do the right thing with feeding him on demand. It makes me feel much better now that he's putting on weight. It's funny to think that I've fed him for 5 weeks now, that's about 10-15 meals a day for 5 weeks that I've supplied for him. That's a lot of food to make, and I did it!
I have been getting the hang of this mommy thing. Drew and I have gone out to a few stores and today we went to the Brookfield Zoo. Drew did awesome, he rode around in his baby bjorn carrier all day, it was great. It will be nice when he can hold his head up and I can face him out. So today I looked at animals while Drew looked at my cleavage all day, but that's his favorite thing right now. Haha! I am proud of myself too, I figured out how to feed him in public and not give everyone a show, I prefer sitting at home where I can let it all hang out but the blanket over the shoulder worked well today. I'll have to get one of those cover-ups that have the neck strap becasue I was nervous the blanket was going to blow off or Drew was going to pull it down, but it worked for today. I did discover this week that Drew is all boy. He has done okay on all of my outings except when I went to Michael's craft store, he started crying so I left. No sooner did I get in the parking lot than he calmed down. Hmm....just like his dad and his grandpa, complains about going into craft stores.
This week Drew has started smiling and making noises that aren't crying, I love it! Finally I'm getting so type of reaction. It's hard to give someone 100% of yourself and get nothing in return (I know some marriages that ended becasue of that). I love his smile and he has the cutest dimples, I don't know where they came from neither Gary nor I have dimples. I also love his little noises, except when he makes them at 2am when all I want to do is sleep. Speaking of sleep, well...it's getting better but it's hard to have no consistancy. I can deal with a lot if I know what's coming, I like to plan. I can work with 3-4 hours of sleep if I can count of getting it, it's when one night I'll get blocks of 2 hours of sleep, the next 4, then the next none at all! I guess I can throw my consistency out the window for the next 18 years.
Okay this is really funny if you like potty humor...Babies fart really really loud. It's hilarious, but Drew doesn't think so. He farts loud then gets this scared look on his face and starts crying. I think he scares himself. It's like this dog, Tofu, that my family had. He would fart and growl at his butt.
Now, funny without the potty humor. You know when you see someone you think you know and you go to wave to them only to realize that you don't know them so you pretend your fixing your hair and hoping that no one just saw that...yeah, now to my point. Drew does this :) He sees his little owls on his swing and goes to grab for them only to realize that they are too far away then he grabs his hair. I know that's not what he's doing but it sure looks like he doesn't want to look stupid for not being able to reach those little owls.
I tried the limited feedings yesterday like Dr. Pera said and Drew ate exactly every 2 hours, exactly. I fed him about 15-20 minutes each side and then made him stop. He seemed okay and the next time I fed him he did get down to business and eat not goof around. He even ate every 2 hours all night long. It was a long night. He ate for 30 to 40 minutes then it took about another 15 minutes to settle him down, then I laid him down and I would lay down for an hour and be back up to feed him again. When will his tummy get bigger? Before when I was letting him nurse longer I could sometimes get 3 maybe a little more hours out of a feeding. I sure hope the things Dr. Pera suggested works.
This morning I put Drew in his swing and went upstairs to wash up. He started crying but I couldn't come down stairs that exact moment, I was in the potty, so he had to just cry. I came downstairs as soon as possible but by then he had stopped crying and was almost asleep. Ahhh, my poor little guy feel asleep crying, I feel so bad. Mommy wasn't there to comfort him. It really brought a tear to my eye. I'm sure he's fine but it's the first time I didn't pick him up when he's started crying. Now he's napping in my lap, so I feel better :)
Friday 6/5/09:
Okay, so now I realize I was a few days off on the month switch over, I was still counting weeks, he was 4 weeks old on the 2nd, in my lack of sleep mind that meant a month. I've also noticed in my lack of sleep mind that I can't tell my left from my right. I will write down in Drew's feeding log which side he started eating on and know that I'm supposed to start on the other side. I'll think in my head, okay we're on left now and proceed to start him on the right. The sad thing is I don't realize right away, and people say pregnancy brain is bad; no sleep brain is worse!
This week has been really exciting, Andrew met his little friend Ethan who he will get to know real well. I'll be watching Ethan when the school year starts. The two little guys are going to have so much fun together, I'm sure I'll double my gray hairs but I'm looking forward to it. Then we went and met a 3 year old Andrew, baby Matthew and Audrey and 1 year old Ava. Andrew is so popular already. It's nice that I know moms our here already, at least I have people I can talk to and they understand what I'm going through, and it's also not weird to ask about poopy :) Ahhh the sophisticated conversations of a mom.
Andrew must have known he was turning into a big boy, last night he slept so well. He slept 3 hours, woke up and ate in under an hour, then slept 3 more hours, woke up and ate, then slept 2 more. I love this baby! Thank you gypsies for giving me my happy night time baby back! It's amazing the difference when you get some sleep. I was seriously getting 4 hours a day, and not all at once. I didn't know how much longer I could function, my body felt like it was shutting down. Please please please let him start sleeping like this at least a couple times a week!!!
I've decided that any woman who has an epidural should automatically get a bikini wax. I mean, you're already numb down there and afterward I seriously was afraid of that part of my body. It hurt, it had stitches in it, it was bleeding, I wasn't about to go near it, now I have the job of making myself look presentable for my follow up appointment.
Saturday 6/6/09:
Andrew already knows that he'll be going to college but how did he find out about frat boys? Dad wasn't one, I wasn't in a sorority. Last night he slept from 10pm to 2am, got up, ate, then partied all night until 5:30 when he drank until he passed out and slept until 10am. Who told him he could party all night? I know it was Friday night but we're a boring family, we don't party on Friday nights. Today he's been pretty good, I'm noticing a little more awake time. We even got out the ocean mat and played on that, he grabbed at one of the toys a couple times, he's becoming so alert. In his swing he notices the owls from time to time. It's so cute, he'll look up and watch them and go crossed eyed. Sometimes he even reaches his hand up. I tried to capture that on video but of course as soon as I turned the camera on he just sat there. Oh well, next time maybe he'll be more exciting.
Wednesday 6/10/09:
I took Andrew in for a weight check yesterday, he's 9 pounds 3 ounces. That's awesome! Now I don't have to go back for weight checks until his 8 week appointment! I can't believe how fast he gained weight, but I did the same thing when I was pregnant, I would go a month without gaining a pound then gain 7 in a week. I guess I know why now, it's was all Drew's fault :) Having his weight down when I took him for his 1 month appointment really made me feel bad, it was all me. If I was formula feeding, so I up the formula, but I'm not and I can't tell how much he's eating. I was really trying to do the right thing with feeding him on demand. It makes me feel much better now that he's putting on weight. It's funny to think that I've fed him for 5 weeks now, that's about 10-15 meals a day for 5 weeks that I've supplied for him. That's a lot of food to make, and I did it!
I have been getting the hang of this mommy thing. Drew and I have gone out to a few stores and today we went to the Brookfield Zoo. Drew did awesome, he rode around in his baby bjorn carrier all day, it was great. It will be nice when he can hold his head up and I can face him out. So today I looked at animals while Drew looked at my cleavage all day, but that's his favorite thing right now. Haha! I am proud of myself too, I figured out how to feed him in public and not give everyone a show, I prefer sitting at home where I can let it all hang out but the blanket over the shoulder worked well today. I'll have to get one of those cover-ups that have the neck strap becasue I was nervous the blanket was going to blow off or Drew was going to pull it down, but it worked for today. I did discover this week that Drew is all boy. He has done okay on all of my outings except when I went to Michael's craft store, he started crying so I left. No sooner did I get in the parking lot than he calmed down. Hmm....just like his dad and his grandpa, complains about going into craft stores.
This week Drew has started smiling and making noises that aren't crying, I love it! Finally I'm getting so type of reaction. It's hard to give someone 100% of yourself and get nothing in return (I know some marriages that ended becasue of that). I love his smile and he has the cutest dimples, I don't know where they came from neither Gary nor I have dimples. I also love his little noises, except when he makes them at 2am when all I want to do is sleep. Speaking of sleep, well...it's getting better but it's hard to have no consistancy. I can deal with a lot if I know what's coming, I like to plan. I can work with 3-4 hours of sleep if I can count of getting it, it's when one night I'll get blocks of 2 hours of sleep, the next 4, then the next none at all! I guess I can throw my consistency out the window for the next 18 years.
Okay this is really funny if you like potty humor...Babies fart really really loud. It's hilarious, but Drew doesn't think so. He farts loud then gets this scared look on his face and starts crying. I think he scares himself. It's like this dog, Tofu, that my family had. He would fart and growl at his butt.
Now, funny without the potty humor. You know when you see someone you think you know and you go to wave to them only to realize that you don't know them so you pretend your fixing your hair and hoping that no one just saw that...yeah, now to my point. Drew does this :) He sees his little owls on his swing and goes to grab for them only to realize that they are too far away then he grabs his hair. I know that's not what he's doing but it sure looks like he doesn't want to look stupid for not being able to reach those little owls.
1st week's pictures:
Playing with the mirror, looking at my hand, posing with my giraffe
being content
sleeping
playing on ocean mat, sleeping again
riding in the baby bjorn, trying to stay awake...holding eyelid open
looking at my bird, passed out after zoo trip...look at my big belly!, sleeping yet again
meeting my friend Ethan, learning to hold my pacifier
thinking (probably about pooping), 5 weeks old in my 1st 0-3 month outfit not newborn size (but I pooped on it), big smile...1st one on camera!!!
playing on my ocean mat again
Playing with the mirror, looking at my hand, posing with my giraffe
being content
sleeping
playing on ocean mat, sleeping again
riding in the baby bjorn, trying to stay awake...holding eyelid open
looking at my bird, passed out after zoo trip...look at my big belly!, sleeping yet again
meeting my friend Ethan, learning to hold my pacifier
thinking (probably about pooping), 5 weeks old in my 1st 0-3 month outfit not newborn size (but I pooped on it), big smile...1st one on camera!!!
playing on my ocean mat again
Monday 6/15/09:
Well, this starts our week on our own. Gary is in Atlanta for work, the days will be the same but the evenings worry me. Gary is so helpful in the evening, he always entertains and just takes him so I can get things done or just eat. He's also great at getting him to burp :)
Wednesday 6/17/09:
Well, I meant to write more on Monday but things got a little crazy. This week is going well so far. Drew and I are getting the hang of things, we sure do miss daddy but we are managing. I wish the housekeeper would stop slacking off, this place is getting to be a mess. I'm keeping up with the stinky stuff, like diapers and kitty box and dirty dishes but general clutter just keeps multiplying. I swear clutter is alive. my couch table has one piece of clutter, then all of a sudden I look and there's 10 pieces of clutter, then 20, then it's spilling onto the floor. How do people get rid of the clutter in their lives? I'm so embarrassed by my housekeeping, I really have to work on it. So please, if you come over just ignore my awful housekeeping skills and look at my wonderful baby making skills :) I have Mr. Adorable on my hands. Drew is so cute, I love looking at him all the time, this again could be the reason why my house is a mess, I sit and look at Drew instead of doing anything. Today Drew and I went shopping and he did awesome. This was the first time he didn't scream through the stores. We went to Kohls and he started to get fussy so I fed him in the dressing room. It worked nice, but I'm sure the woman at the fitting rooms wondered why it took me 45 minutes to try on 3 shirts. Last night was really nice. I fed Drew around 8pm, he was asleep in my arms at 9pm, so we both went to bed. He woke up at 12:30, I fed him and changed him then he went back to sleep!!!!! He never goes back to sleep he usually stays up for his 3/4 feeding but him and I both went to sleep and woke up at 4:30 to eat again. I was sure this was the start of my and I was okay with that, after all I did get some sleep, but no Drew fell asleep again!!!! He then woke up at 7:30 to eat and start the day. It was so nice, too bad Daddy missed it, I don't know if it will ever happen again. People say babies have their days and nights mixed up, that's not really true for Drew, he just has day and day. This was the first time he treated nighttime different than daytime. I'm so happy! Well, these are also the people that told me infants sleep up to 17 hours a day...false!
I went for my 6 week check up yesterday, everything was okay except I needed to have some abnormal scare tissue removed. But that's over and done with and I should heal normal now. I also still have the lump under my arm and my Dr. said it feels like a lymphoid. I don't know why it's swollen but she told me to keep an eye on it and to come back in August. I guess she doesn't think it's anything to worry about, meanwhile I'm sure it's some strange tumor but she thinks I'm okay. Of course at my appt. Drew cried through the whole thing, I told him to save those cries, in 2 weeks he has his 8 week appointment and he'll get his first shots. I don't even want to think about that.
So mommyhood has been quite an adjustment, no one can really prepare you for it. It's hard to even put into words how much my life has changed in 6 weeks. I also really appreciate the body I once had. I'm almost down to my pre-pregnancy weight but my tummy is all mushy, it's not a good look. I never realized how good I looked before. I love my little Drew so much, but there's times I get so frustrated with him and then I start feeling guilty. I guess that's parenthood right there. He'll eat and eat and eat and cry and cry and cry and finally be happy for a second and then cry that he's hungry again...this is when I sigh and think are you sure you have to eat because I really don't want to feed him. This is an awful thought but don't worry I always feed him, it's just he needs to give the girls at least 2 hours to rest but there are days when I don't get 2 hours in between feedings. When this happens I'm so sore it's hard for me to be happy to feed him, but once he gives me those grins when he's done eating I can't help but forget that I was frustrated and just kiss him a million times. I really do like feeding him, I love having him so close to me. There are times Drew is napping or in his stroller for a while and I really miss having contact with him, it makes me happy when he wakes up so I can cuddle with him again.
Drew is getting to be so much fun, he makes faces and plays with his little hands a lot. He sucks on his thumb and fingers and even the side of arm. It's so funny to watch he'll try to put his hand in his mouth and he'll move it too fast and he'll hit himself right in the face. I can't help but laugh but he looks at me like who punched me? He's so adorable. Too bad it's so much work (and money and pain) to have a big family because Gary and I sure do make cute children, we would be doing the world a favor by putting more good looking people on it, hahaha.
Saturday 6/20/09:
Put this date on the calendar, it's a milestone. Drew was looking drowsy so I went upstairs and laid him in his own crib. He woke so I put on his bunny mobile and patted him and he started to get drowsy again. I walked away. Two minutes later he was crying. I went back upstairs and left him in his crib but bent over and hugged him and turned his bunnies on again and sang to him. It didn't take too long for him to fall asleep. I kept singing to him as I let go and sang as I slowly walked further away. I finally walked out of the room and came downstairs. It took about 20 minutes total from the first time I put him down to nap, not a bad time commitment since he's still asleep in his own bed and it's been 45 minutes now. I am going to try the same thing at bed time, but I'm nervous about that. Wish me luck! I've never put Drew down to sleep without him being 100% out, this was the first time I didn't rock him completely asleep, I just rocked him to drowsy and let him do the rest. My little guy is getting so big and independent already.
Well, this starts our week on our own. Gary is in Atlanta for work, the days will be the same but the evenings worry me. Gary is so helpful in the evening, he always entertains and just takes him so I can get things done or just eat. He's also great at getting him to burp :)
Wednesday 6/17/09:
Well, I meant to write more on Monday but things got a little crazy. This week is going well so far. Drew and I are getting the hang of things, we sure do miss daddy but we are managing. I wish the housekeeper would stop slacking off, this place is getting to be a mess. I'm keeping up with the stinky stuff, like diapers and kitty box and dirty dishes but general clutter just keeps multiplying. I swear clutter is alive. my couch table has one piece of clutter, then all of a sudden I look and there's 10 pieces of clutter, then 20, then it's spilling onto the floor. How do people get rid of the clutter in their lives? I'm so embarrassed by my housekeeping, I really have to work on it. So please, if you come over just ignore my awful housekeeping skills and look at my wonderful baby making skills :) I have Mr. Adorable on my hands. Drew is so cute, I love looking at him all the time, this again could be the reason why my house is a mess, I sit and look at Drew instead of doing anything. Today Drew and I went shopping and he did awesome. This was the first time he didn't scream through the stores. We went to Kohls and he started to get fussy so I fed him in the dressing room. It worked nice, but I'm sure the woman at the fitting rooms wondered why it took me 45 minutes to try on 3 shirts. Last night was really nice. I fed Drew around 8pm, he was asleep in my arms at 9pm, so we both went to bed. He woke up at 12:30, I fed him and changed him then he went back to sleep!!!!! He never goes back to sleep he usually stays up for his 3/4 feeding but him and I both went to sleep and woke up at 4:30 to eat again. I was sure this was the start of my and I was okay with that, after all I did get some sleep, but no Drew fell asleep again!!!! He then woke up at 7:30 to eat and start the day. It was so nice, too bad Daddy missed it, I don't know if it will ever happen again. People say babies have their days and nights mixed up, that's not really true for Drew, he just has day and day. This was the first time he treated nighttime different than daytime. I'm so happy! Well, these are also the people that told me infants sleep up to 17 hours a day...false!
I went for my 6 week check up yesterday, everything was okay except I needed to have some abnormal scare tissue removed. But that's over and done with and I should heal normal now. I also still have the lump under my arm and my Dr. said it feels like a lymphoid. I don't know why it's swollen but she told me to keep an eye on it and to come back in August. I guess she doesn't think it's anything to worry about, meanwhile I'm sure it's some strange tumor but she thinks I'm okay. Of course at my appt. Drew cried through the whole thing, I told him to save those cries, in 2 weeks he has his 8 week appointment and he'll get his first shots. I don't even want to think about that.
So mommyhood has been quite an adjustment, no one can really prepare you for it. It's hard to even put into words how much my life has changed in 6 weeks. I also really appreciate the body I once had. I'm almost down to my pre-pregnancy weight but my tummy is all mushy, it's not a good look. I never realized how good I looked before. I love my little Drew so much, but there's times I get so frustrated with him and then I start feeling guilty. I guess that's parenthood right there. He'll eat and eat and eat and cry and cry and cry and finally be happy for a second and then cry that he's hungry again...this is when I sigh and think are you sure you have to eat because I really don't want to feed him. This is an awful thought but don't worry I always feed him, it's just he needs to give the girls at least 2 hours to rest but there are days when I don't get 2 hours in between feedings. When this happens I'm so sore it's hard for me to be happy to feed him, but once he gives me those grins when he's done eating I can't help but forget that I was frustrated and just kiss him a million times. I really do like feeding him, I love having him so close to me. There are times Drew is napping or in his stroller for a while and I really miss having contact with him, it makes me happy when he wakes up so I can cuddle with him again.
Drew is getting to be so much fun, he makes faces and plays with his little hands a lot. He sucks on his thumb and fingers and even the side of arm. It's so funny to watch he'll try to put his hand in his mouth and he'll move it too fast and he'll hit himself right in the face. I can't help but laugh but he looks at me like who punched me? He's so adorable. Too bad it's so much work (and money and pain) to have a big family because Gary and I sure do make cute children, we would be doing the world a favor by putting more good looking people on it, hahaha.
Saturday 6/20/09:
Put this date on the calendar, it's a milestone. Drew was looking drowsy so I went upstairs and laid him in his own crib. He woke so I put on his bunny mobile and patted him and he started to get drowsy again. I walked away. Two minutes later he was crying. I went back upstairs and left him in his crib but bent over and hugged him and turned his bunnies on again and sang to him. It didn't take too long for him to fall asleep. I kept singing to him as I let go and sang as I slowly walked further away. I finally walked out of the room and came downstairs. It took about 20 minutes total from the first time I put him down to nap, not a bad time commitment since he's still asleep in his own bed and it's been 45 minutes now. I am going to try the same thing at bed time, but I'm nervous about that. Wish me luck! I've never put Drew down to sleep without him being 100% out, this was the first time I didn't rock him completely asleep, I just rocked him to drowsy and let him do the rest. My little guy is getting so big and independent already.
2nd week's pictures
6 weeks old wearing brand new jammies, looking cute in my baby bear outfit, bad kitty eating my pacifier
smiling and sticking out tongue, playing in my new car that grammy bought me...still too little for it though, making silly faces
sleeping after a long day of shopping, enjoying a nice day with mommy, checking out my hand...yep, still there
Giving big smiles, sleeping outside, sleeping inside
showing off my hot weather tiger outfit, sleeping on mommy...she's so comfy
6 weeks old wearing brand new jammies, looking cute in my baby bear outfit, bad kitty eating my pacifier
smiling and sticking out tongue, playing in my new car that grammy bought me...still too little for it though, making silly faces
sleeping after a long day of shopping, enjoying a nice day with mommy, checking out my hand...yep, still there
Giving big smiles, sleeping outside, sleeping inside
showing off my hot weather tiger outfit, sleeping on mommy...she's so comfy
Monday 6/22/09:
Why is one day so easy and the next the worst day ever? Are all babies like this? There are a lot of days, the majority of days, that Drew is either eating or crying. Where's the awake happy time that you always see on TV? The last 3 days Drew has been miserable. There has been virtually no happy moments. He is either eating or crying. Sleeping isn't even in the equation. There are times when he's even crying when he's eating. Is there something wrong? Who cries when they eat? I really think there is an issue because Drew isn't like this everyday, if it was his temperament wouldn't he always be rotten? He's always had moments where it seems like he's in pain but recently it's been almost everyday all day. He eats, after fighting to get him to latch on. He throws his head back, arches his back and shakes his head. Now you would think he's not hungry but he really wants to eat. When he finally gets latched on he eats like I haven't fed him in a week, he's a wild animal. When he's done with one side I try to burp him. He wails, he acts like I'm trying to kill him. He throws his body all over and screams and screams and screams and claws at his throat and claws at my throat, so I give up and let him start eating on the next side and he settles down instantly. So maybe some of his fussiness is trapped gas but I would rather have him kick his legs a lot that do the blood curdling scream that he does when I try to burp him. At least when I give him a bottle I can get him to burp right away, it's pretty rewarding. He makes this little throaty noise too, maybe it's reflux but I brought that up to my pediatrician 3 weeks ago and he brushed it off. Next week I'll bring it up again but if it is I'll be mad that he made me suffer for a month, and made poor little Drew be in pain for a month before believing me and doing anything about it. Sleep is a whole other issue. Drew is tired, he'll fall asleep and then wake up screaming. It doesn't matter if he's in my arms or in his bed. Even when I can get him to sleep about 45 minutes is all I get and then he starts coughing and crying. Sometimes I know he's not hungry but he gets so worked up and I don't know how to calm him down that I just feed him. It's the only time he doesn't act or sound like he's in pain. Why is everything about breastfeeding so hard? If is supposed to be best why does it have to be so difficult. I don't know how much he's eating, he has to eat more often, he can't seem to burp, not to mention you can't just wear normal clothes. I have to think would this shirt be easy to pull up, and then layer a tank under it so when my shirt is pulled up you can't see my belly. Even the nursing bras are getting on my nerves. They aren't lined and you aren't supposed to wear underwires because it can cause clogged areas. So now I have to be careful with what shirt I put on that it's not too thin so you can see through it, and usually see the outline of the pad because my girls feel the need to leak all over and then I have to deal with the girls not being held up like I like them. I'm used to wearing a slightly padded light push up bra. Granted now I probably don't need any padding but I would like a little more sexy shape to them, not mommy nursing shape. That's the one part of my body that I really liked, and now it's not sexy either.
Tuesday 6/23/09:
Am I in an episode of I love lucy? What a crazy day today. I scheduled for my carpets to be cleaned this morning, no big deal right? Wrong! The carpets guys said they would be here between 8 and 9am, but they would call when they were on their way. I fed Drew and waited...and waited...and waited. They did show up before 9am but just barely and they didn't call ahead of time. I had Drew in the baby bjorn when they rang the doorbell. I needed to put the cats away in a rush, since they didn't call. In case you don't own cats, they don't like to be rushed. I grabed Diego who is about 15 pounds while wearing Drew who is about 10 pounds, that was a lot of weight to walk around with. Then I had to chase down Tia. I finally got her and she started flipping out. I didn't want her to scratch Drew so I held her to the side, they that gave her easy access to my arm, she tore it to ribbons while I was trying to lock her up in the bedroom. Finally I let the cleaners in and they did what they needed to do, they warned me to be careful and not to slip on the floors. In about 40 minutes they were done and they left, ahh, it wasn't even 11am and I was already looking productive. The next hour Drew and I picked up the house a little, read my book and made lunch. Then the carbon monoxide detector started going off. I didn't know what to do so I called Gary. He said to leave and let the house air out. But I was scared for the kitties, why was it going off? I called my friend Nicki to ask who to call. Does the fire department handle this? Nicki said to call the gas company, so that's what I did. The gas company called the fire department and they sent a truck over. When they got here I was standing outside with Drew and was a nervous wreck. One fireman went inside with some ghostbusters looking meter thing and came almost running out to tell the other two in the truck that it was a real call, not the dead battery alarm. Oh my god, they thought I called the fire department over a dead battery? Anyway the other two ran inside and then started asking me questions, was I cooking? Was I doing laundry? I said no, and I wasn't running the furnace either (they laughed at that because it was almost 100 degrees outside that day). I then told them I had just had my carpets cleaned and they knew exactly what happened. They said the guys probably parked in my garage without telling me and left their truck on and then left closing my garage behind them and not letting it air out. They brought out some exhaust fans and aired my place out. It was fine in about an hour but that was one hot hour to be outside with little Drew. What a day! Too bad Drew is too little to appreciate the fun of having a fire truck and firemen at the house.
Wednesday 6/24/09:
I am not a domestic goddess, I know shocker!! There's so many things in life we can't control and so many things I wish I could do better. I want to not only be a good stay at home mom but enjoy doing it. I know that's asking a lot, but I have discovered the simple joys of ironing. There's a problem...the clothes are wrinkled, there's a tool...the iron, and there's me squishing out all the wrinkles. I can watch the problems leaving right before my eyes. I wish I could make all my problems vanish just like that, I wish I could squish away everything that bothers me just like I can squish away the wrinkles. So I may not be living up to my 1950's housewife image that I would so like to have but I am a master ironer and love it. I feel so accomplished and it's a task that doesn't take very long. In a matter of minutes I can get every wrinkle out of a shirt and I feel good about it. So on days when the dinner is burned, or not even made, the house is a disaster, and the baby is crying you'll find me smiling behind the ironing board.
On another note when do you stop hearing things as a mom? I swear I hear Drew crying when he's not. I'm lying in bed and he's in the bassinet and I get up because I think I hear him, nope, it's just me going crazy. I'm downstairs and he's in his crib and I go upstairs because I think I hear him, nope...he's sleeping. I leave him in his swing while I take a shower, I jump out becuase I think I hear him, no again. Am I going nuts or is this because of the no sleep thing? Seriously when will I get more than 4 hours of sleep a day. I am exhausted, Drew sleeps and naps in 1-2 hours increments, I can't get any sleep and when I do finally lay down I just keep waiting for the next cry. I just lay there not able to fall asleep just waiting because I know I'm going to have to get up soon. It's so painful to get up only an hour after you've fallen asleep. Please please please Drew let mommy get some sleep!
Saturday 6/27/09:
Okay there are some firsts to record this week. A few weeks ago my little guy learned that he has hands, now he has discovered there are other parts to his body. He was sitting in his owl chair and instead of looking up at his owls he was looking down at his feet. He loves to kick his feet and on Thursday he was fascinated with these little moving things attached to his body. It was so fun to watch. I can't wait until he realizes he can grab those little feet, I love when babies do that. On Friday morning I was laying on the floor playing with Drew when he kept reaching out and grabbing my nose and my lips. He's always been very handsy, even before he was born, but this was the first time he looked at me and reached out his hand and grabbed what he was looking at. He has grabbed at toys and hit them with his hands but I think that was more of an accident. It was cute he would put his hand in his mouth then reach out and try to put his hand in my mouth. Finally yesterday Drew visited the pool for the first time. My friend Sue invited me to her pool. Drew cried at first but the second time I put his feet in the water he seemed to like it. In a few months I want to sign up for the water babies class with him. He better like the water, mommy loves the water!
Sleep isn't getting better, in fact we've taken a step back. I can't get him to sleep in his crib all night. He goes to bed in his crib but ends up with me by morning. If he could just sleep through one of his middle of the night feedings we would be good to go, but until then we just have to deal with this.
Why is one day so easy and the next the worst day ever? Are all babies like this? There are a lot of days, the majority of days, that Drew is either eating or crying. Where's the awake happy time that you always see on TV? The last 3 days Drew has been miserable. There has been virtually no happy moments. He is either eating or crying. Sleeping isn't even in the equation. There are times when he's even crying when he's eating. Is there something wrong? Who cries when they eat? I really think there is an issue because Drew isn't like this everyday, if it was his temperament wouldn't he always be rotten? He's always had moments where it seems like he's in pain but recently it's been almost everyday all day. He eats, after fighting to get him to latch on. He throws his head back, arches his back and shakes his head. Now you would think he's not hungry but he really wants to eat. When he finally gets latched on he eats like I haven't fed him in a week, he's a wild animal. When he's done with one side I try to burp him. He wails, he acts like I'm trying to kill him. He throws his body all over and screams and screams and screams and claws at his throat and claws at my throat, so I give up and let him start eating on the next side and he settles down instantly. So maybe some of his fussiness is trapped gas but I would rather have him kick his legs a lot that do the blood curdling scream that he does when I try to burp him. At least when I give him a bottle I can get him to burp right away, it's pretty rewarding. He makes this little throaty noise too, maybe it's reflux but I brought that up to my pediatrician 3 weeks ago and he brushed it off. Next week I'll bring it up again but if it is I'll be mad that he made me suffer for a month, and made poor little Drew be in pain for a month before believing me and doing anything about it. Sleep is a whole other issue. Drew is tired, he'll fall asleep and then wake up screaming. It doesn't matter if he's in my arms or in his bed. Even when I can get him to sleep about 45 minutes is all I get and then he starts coughing and crying. Sometimes I know he's not hungry but he gets so worked up and I don't know how to calm him down that I just feed him. It's the only time he doesn't act or sound like he's in pain. Why is everything about breastfeeding so hard? If is supposed to be best why does it have to be so difficult. I don't know how much he's eating, he has to eat more often, he can't seem to burp, not to mention you can't just wear normal clothes. I have to think would this shirt be easy to pull up, and then layer a tank under it so when my shirt is pulled up you can't see my belly. Even the nursing bras are getting on my nerves. They aren't lined and you aren't supposed to wear underwires because it can cause clogged areas. So now I have to be careful with what shirt I put on that it's not too thin so you can see through it, and usually see the outline of the pad because my girls feel the need to leak all over and then I have to deal with the girls not being held up like I like them. I'm used to wearing a slightly padded light push up bra. Granted now I probably don't need any padding but I would like a little more sexy shape to them, not mommy nursing shape. That's the one part of my body that I really liked, and now it's not sexy either.
Tuesday 6/23/09:
Am I in an episode of I love lucy? What a crazy day today. I scheduled for my carpets to be cleaned this morning, no big deal right? Wrong! The carpets guys said they would be here between 8 and 9am, but they would call when they were on their way. I fed Drew and waited...and waited...and waited. They did show up before 9am but just barely and they didn't call ahead of time. I had Drew in the baby bjorn when they rang the doorbell. I needed to put the cats away in a rush, since they didn't call. In case you don't own cats, they don't like to be rushed. I grabed Diego who is about 15 pounds while wearing Drew who is about 10 pounds, that was a lot of weight to walk around with. Then I had to chase down Tia. I finally got her and she started flipping out. I didn't want her to scratch Drew so I held her to the side, they that gave her easy access to my arm, she tore it to ribbons while I was trying to lock her up in the bedroom. Finally I let the cleaners in and they did what they needed to do, they warned me to be careful and not to slip on the floors. In about 40 minutes they were done and they left, ahh, it wasn't even 11am and I was already looking productive. The next hour Drew and I picked up the house a little, read my book and made lunch. Then the carbon monoxide detector started going off. I didn't know what to do so I called Gary. He said to leave and let the house air out. But I was scared for the kitties, why was it going off? I called my friend Nicki to ask who to call. Does the fire department handle this? Nicki said to call the gas company, so that's what I did. The gas company called the fire department and they sent a truck over. When they got here I was standing outside with Drew and was a nervous wreck. One fireman went inside with some ghostbusters looking meter thing and came almost running out to tell the other two in the truck that it was a real call, not the dead battery alarm. Oh my god, they thought I called the fire department over a dead battery? Anyway the other two ran inside and then started asking me questions, was I cooking? Was I doing laundry? I said no, and I wasn't running the furnace either (they laughed at that because it was almost 100 degrees outside that day). I then told them I had just had my carpets cleaned and they knew exactly what happened. They said the guys probably parked in my garage without telling me and left their truck on and then left closing my garage behind them and not letting it air out. They brought out some exhaust fans and aired my place out. It was fine in about an hour but that was one hot hour to be outside with little Drew. What a day! Too bad Drew is too little to appreciate the fun of having a fire truck and firemen at the house.
Wednesday 6/24/09:
I am not a domestic goddess, I know shocker!! There's so many things in life we can't control and so many things I wish I could do better. I want to not only be a good stay at home mom but enjoy doing it. I know that's asking a lot, but I have discovered the simple joys of ironing. There's a problem...the clothes are wrinkled, there's a tool...the iron, and there's me squishing out all the wrinkles. I can watch the problems leaving right before my eyes. I wish I could make all my problems vanish just like that, I wish I could squish away everything that bothers me just like I can squish away the wrinkles. So I may not be living up to my 1950's housewife image that I would so like to have but I am a master ironer and love it. I feel so accomplished and it's a task that doesn't take very long. In a matter of minutes I can get every wrinkle out of a shirt and I feel good about it. So on days when the dinner is burned, or not even made, the house is a disaster, and the baby is crying you'll find me smiling behind the ironing board.
On another note when do you stop hearing things as a mom? I swear I hear Drew crying when he's not. I'm lying in bed and he's in the bassinet and I get up because I think I hear him, nope, it's just me going crazy. I'm downstairs and he's in his crib and I go upstairs because I think I hear him, nope...he's sleeping. I leave him in his swing while I take a shower, I jump out becuase I think I hear him, no again. Am I going nuts or is this because of the no sleep thing? Seriously when will I get more than 4 hours of sleep a day. I am exhausted, Drew sleeps and naps in 1-2 hours increments, I can't get any sleep and when I do finally lay down I just keep waiting for the next cry. I just lay there not able to fall asleep just waiting because I know I'm going to have to get up soon. It's so painful to get up only an hour after you've fallen asleep. Please please please Drew let mommy get some sleep!
Saturday 6/27/09:
Okay there are some firsts to record this week. A few weeks ago my little guy learned that he has hands, now he has discovered there are other parts to his body. He was sitting in his owl chair and instead of looking up at his owls he was looking down at his feet. He loves to kick his feet and on Thursday he was fascinated with these little moving things attached to his body. It was so fun to watch. I can't wait until he realizes he can grab those little feet, I love when babies do that. On Friday morning I was laying on the floor playing with Drew when he kept reaching out and grabbing my nose and my lips. He's always been very handsy, even before he was born, but this was the first time he looked at me and reached out his hand and grabbed what he was looking at. He has grabbed at toys and hit them with his hands but I think that was more of an accident. It was cute he would put his hand in his mouth then reach out and try to put his hand in my mouth. Finally yesterday Drew visited the pool for the first time. My friend Sue invited me to her pool. Drew cried at first but the second time I put his feet in the water he seemed to like it. In a few months I want to sign up for the water babies class with him. He better like the water, mommy loves the water!
Sleep isn't getting better, in fact we've taken a step back. I can't get him to sleep in his crib all night. He goes to bed in his crib but ends up with me by morning. If he could just sleep through one of his middle of the night feedings we would be good to go, but until then we just have to deal with this.
In Pictures - 3rd week of the month
7th week photo shoot - my full length, black and white tummy, not so happy, a big 7th week smile!
bath time...look no crying, lifted my head up right out of the frame, and got scared by it too :), playing on the floor again
my first trip to the pool, thanks Sue!
7th week photo shoot - my full length, black and white tummy, not so happy, a big 7th week smile!
bath time...look no crying, lifted my head up right out of the frame, and got scared by it too :), playing on the floor again
my first trip to the pool, thanks Sue!
Sunday 6/28/09:
It's only 12:30 and I can't take anymore today. Andrew hasn't slept in days and now Gary is out with his friend today having fun. I need a break, seriously. It's been almost 60 days of Andrew attached to me. I haven't even stepped outside alone. And Gary seriously thought that I would go to the grocery store today, can't I have a weekend? Can't I have a minute off? I work during the week just like him. I grocery shop and take care of Drew all week. I need a down time too. At night Gary goes to bed, I don't I work even harder to keep Andrew quiet so he doesn't wake Gary. Can't Gary take him and entertain him for a few hours so I can take a nap? I have bottles made if he gets hungry. I seriously either need someone to relieve me or Andrew needs to sleep and stop crying all day long. I posted a short video but that is nothing compared to the crying I have heard the last 3 days, the next video will be me sitting in the bouncy chair crying too :)
Monday 6/29/09:
Today was better than yesterday, but that could be because Andrew was in the baby bjorn the whole morning. We went on a nature walk and then went shopping at Wal*Mart. Right now Daddy is playing with Drew before it's feeding time once again. I posted a video of Andrew on the ocean mat, it's a little long and he's still a little boring but it's better than yesterdays video :) and if you get really bored watching it you can just get up and dance to the music!
Tuesday 6/30/09:
Drew is 8 weeks old today and he was in a good mood so we broke out the camera and shot away. When he's happy he's so much fun. He's getting so active, he kicks his legs all the time. I have a feeling I'm going to be in trouble when he learns to walk, I can just picture him running all over the house. His arms are also always going. It's hard to get a picture without them moving all over. It's really funny, before Drew was born he punched me a lot, during one ultrasound he was violently punching the placenta. I joked it was because he wanted more food, it was like punching a vending machine, extra candy would fall out. This week Drew started punching me when he's eating. It's really cute, and it appears like he's punching me to get more food. After he's been eating for about 10 minutes he starts punching away, like he's saying I'm still eating keep that food coming! I love my little guy!
Sunday 7/5/09:
Happy 2 months Andrew! I love my little guy, I can't believe he's here and it's been 2 months already. Monday we go for his first shots. I'm not looking forward to that but I am looking forward to going to the doctor. Drew is having some rough days. He cries so much after he eats, he coughs a lot, he acts like he's gagging, he always sounds phlegmy, he can't sleep. It's getting too much to handle. I'm so tired I just need a nap but Drew doesn't nap long enough for me to get any sleep and no one else will keep him quiet and entertain him while I sleep. Why can't I have a happy baby? I have a feeling Drew is going to be an only child, Gary doesn't want to go through this again. Drew just cries all the time and there's nothing that will settle him down, except eating, but then the minute he stops eating he cries again. It's not in the evenings like everyone says colic is, it's all day. Who in the family has a nasty grumpy personality that Drew got this from? I'm nice and easy going, he didn't get his crappy attitude from me! Drew also still cries at bath time. I thought babies liked baths. I feel like I'm torturing the poor thing everytime I do anything to him. He cries when I wash him, he cries when I undress him, he cries when I change him. I'm so tired of the crying. I understand that's how he communicates but what is he trying to tell me?!? Typical man I guess, I feel like he's speaking a different language. He isn't much of a conversationalist :) He either doesn't respond to me or he dominates the conversation with only his interests (crying).
I just feel like I'm failing him in some way. I try everything when he cries. I walk with him, rock him, bounce him, pat him, hold him up, hold him flat against my chest, lay him down, play with him in the bouncy chair, lay him down on the ocean mat, put him in the owl swing, lay him in the crib, put him on an incline, shush him, sing to him, hold him close and try to ignore the cries, cry with him, feed him, bathe him, change him, give him a baby massage, swaddle him, unswaddle him, take him outside, take him for a walk. I'm beat, I wish I knew what to do.
It's only 12:30 and I can't take anymore today. Andrew hasn't slept in days and now Gary is out with his friend today having fun. I need a break, seriously. It's been almost 60 days of Andrew attached to me. I haven't even stepped outside alone. And Gary seriously thought that I would go to the grocery store today, can't I have a weekend? Can't I have a minute off? I work during the week just like him. I grocery shop and take care of Drew all week. I need a down time too. At night Gary goes to bed, I don't I work even harder to keep Andrew quiet so he doesn't wake Gary. Can't Gary take him and entertain him for a few hours so I can take a nap? I have bottles made if he gets hungry. I seriously either need someone to relieve me or Andrew needs to sleep and stop crying all day long. I posted a short video but that is nothing compared to the crying I have heard the last 3 days, the next video will be me sitting in the bouncy chair crying too :)
Monday 6/29/09:
Today was better than yesterday, but that could be because Andrew was in the baby bjorn the whole morning. We went on a nature walk and then went shopping at Wal*Mart. Right now Daddy is playing with Drew before it's feeding time once again. I posted a video of Andrew on the ocean mat, it's a little long and he's still a little boring but it's better than yesterdays video :) and if you get really bored watching it you can just get up and dance to the music!
Tuesday 6/30/09:
Drew is 8 weeks old today and he was in a good mood so we broke out the camera and shot away. When he's happy he's so much fun. He's getting so active, he kicks his legs all the time. I have a feeling I'm going to be in trouble when he learns to walk, I can just picture him running all over the house. His arms are also always going. It's hard to get a picture without them moving all over. It's really funny, before Drew was born he punched me a lot, during one ultrasound he was violently punching the placenta. I joked it was because he wanted more food, it was like punching a vending machine, extra candy would fall out. This week Drew started punching me when he's eating. It's really cute, and it appears like he's punching me to get more food. After he's been eating for about 10 minutes he starts punching away, like he's saying I'm still eating keep that food coming! I love my little guy!
Sunday 7/5/09:
Happy 2 months Andrew! I love my little guy, I can't believe he's here and it's been 2 months already. Monday we go for his first shots. I'm not looking forward to that but I am looking forward to going to the doctor. Drew is having some rough days. He cries so much after he eats, he coughs a lot, he acts like he's gagging, he always sounds phlegmy, he can't sleep. It's getting too much to handle. I'm so tired I just need a nap but Drew doesn't nap long enough for me to get any sleep and no one else will keep him quiet and entertain him while I sleep. Why can't I have a happy baby? I have a feeling Drew is going to be an only child, Gary doesn't want to go through this again. Drew just cries all the time and there's nothing that will settle him down, except eating, but then the minute he stops eating he cries again. It's not in the evenings like everyone says colic is, it's all day. Who in the family has a nasty grumpy personality that Drew got this from? I'm nice and easy going, he didn't get his crappy attitude from me! Drew also still cries at bath time. I thought babies liked baths. I feel like I'm torturing the poor thing everytime I do anything to him. He cries when I wash him, he cries when I undress him, he cries when I change him. I'm so tired of the crying. I understand that's how he communicates but what is he trying to tell me?!? Typical man I guess, I feel like he's speaking a different language. He isn't much of a conversationalist :) He either doesn't respond to me or he dominates the conversation with only his interests (crying).
I just feel like I'm failing him in some way. I try everything when he cries. I walk with him, rock him, bounce him, pat him, hold him up, hold him flat against my chest, lay him down, play with him in the bouncy chair, lay him down on the ocean mat, put him in the owl swing, lay him in the crib, put him on an incline, shush him, sing to him, hold him close and try to ignore the cries, cry with him, feed him, bathe him, change him, give him a baby massage, swaddle him, unswaddle him, take him outside, take him for a walk. I'm beat, I wish I knew what to do.
In Pictures: 4th week of the month
that's me, 8 weeks old. full length, full length with more of a smile
black and white fun...look at my wrinkly forehead, checking out my hand again, my big baby feet
my baby feet in mommy's hand, getting burped my daddy...holding on for dear life, me...naked!
still naked and not happy about it, passed out after eating, my sweet profile
Me being silly, wondering if mommy will ever put the camera down and pick me up! I'm only 2 months old and I've already visited the wiener-mobile!
mommy and me after ribfest, our outfits looked good together, you can't see me...I match the boppy!
that's me, 8 weeks old. full length, full length with more of a smile
black and white fun...look at my wrinkly forehead, checking out my hand again, my big baby feet
my baby feet in mommy's hand, getting burped my daddy...holding on for dear life, me...naked!
still naked and not happy about it, passed out after eating, my sweet profile
Me being silly, wondering if mommy will ever put the camera down and pick me up! I'm only 2 months old and I've already visited the wiener-mobile!
mommy and me after ribfest, our outfits looked good together, you can't see me...I match the boppy!
